Changes
I sit here listening to my inspiration play list.
The goal is to inspire myself to write.
Because the reality is I have not been writing and I realized today that the life I choose to live is one in which I write.
The life I choose is one in which I choose to write about what matters to me.
Right now what matters to me is my mental health and if writing is my way back to myself….
then I must write, no matter what
Two weeks ago i came to my cozy spot, sat in my comfy chair and I only felt ready to write when the place was closing.
Tonight, i realized, I needed to facilitate my spark to write much sooner.
Or maybe i did not realize that consciously but after watching a touching episode of an old TV show,
I took stock in myself and my current situation.
David Bowie played, “Changes”, a fitting title
I have always loved this song and it felt like my song for tonight
Then I looked up the lyrics….
They surprised me
Even though I knew some of the lyrics,
I had not really heard the song as a whole before
Of course, it seams so fitting for me and my struggles
I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
And every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test
Not sure if I really know what all of it means
I don’t think it matters what David intended in the meaning
I believe all that matters is what it means to me
Sure, I would like to know what the words meant to him
Yet, on a spiritual level, I know I need to just allow it to bring out my own meaning
As a means to help me on my path
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Face the unknown
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Face my fears
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Everything in my life. Changes who I am
In each new moment, I am created a new
I can’t go back and be who I was before all my challenges
I can only be who I am now….
And accept myself in who I am now
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
Theses lyrics are poetry, as is the entire song
All I gather from it is that I watch life move on and yet feel so stuck in the same low place
The next lines have always been my favorite ranking alongside, “Another brick in the wall”
The message within these next four lines are what compels me to write
The message in these lines is what compels me to be the parent I choose to be
And to always strive to be a better parent
It is my passion for living my life
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it
I almost overlooked this lesser known line
Let children be children
Let them be who they are now
They have value at any age
They will become adults in time
We don’t need to “train them to be adults”
We need to respect them where they are now and allow them to be children
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Where’s your shame
You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace
I’m going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I like how these lyrics leave me thoughtful and looking for deeper meaning.
Looking for meaning beyond what I see as the obvious meaning in the words
Searching
Is a good place to be in
And most certainly so much better and more full of life than in a slump of depression
Avoiding and zoning out and “medicating” with distraction
Thank you AtoZLyrics
And an enormous burst of gratitude to David Bowie for writing and for singing