sharing my life experiences, reflections and insights as a mother, a writer, an Occupational Therapist, an unschooler, and and a spiritual being having a human experience

Posts tagged ‘Gratitude journal’

Gratitude: Embracing Bipolar Depression

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out

And if you want to be free, be free

‘Cause there’s a million things to be

You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high

And if you want to live low, live low

‘Cause there’s a million ways to go

You know that there are

Cat Stevens sings as I sit here telling myself to write

Ups and downs, highs and lows

Bipolar depression and mood swings

Life challenges

Leaving me wanting to escape it all, at times

Other times ready to jump in and fight, power on…

Emotions

Feelings

Memories

Regrets…

Life for 48 and a half years and counting…

Opportunities come and gone

New endeavors

Staring new jobs, new people, new places, new computer systems…

Old jobs and people I have known a long time

Letting go

Moving on

Writing

Because I have to

Because it is what feeds my soul

Because when I don’t write,

I feel lost

Something is missing

Until I return to my keyboard

And figure out what to say

My life is awesome

Sometimes my life sucks

Circumstances and situations suck

Infuriated by government systems

Lack of organization and logic

Waiting

Mental health services

Sick care

Thinking of those things is a whole ‘ nother blog

Embracing myself and who I am

Embracing where I am

Right now

Right here

In this home

My 5 year home that I have lived in for 17 years…

With all its cracks and crevices and needed repairs

My house is nearly 49 years old, as am I

Built the year I was born

A good year

1969

I was born on Peace Day during the Vietnam war

October 15

I believe I choose to be born on that day

I was born 3 weeks past my mother’s “due date”

They allowed that back then…

Here I am

Now

Journey sings to me

Don’t’ stop believin’

Dreams

Writing

Aspirations

Hope

New endeavors with Don

Speaking

Speaking!

Writing and speaking my truth

My true self is emerging

i sing this song to my true self…

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

The mist is lifting slowly

I can see the way ahead

And I’ve left behind the empty streets

That once inspired my life

And the strength of the emotion

Is like thunder in the air

‘Cos the promise that we made each other

Haunts me to the end

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

The secret of your beauty

And the mystery of your soul

I’ve been searching for in everyone I meet

And the times I’ve been mistaken

It’s impossible to say

And the grass is growing

Underneath our feet

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

[Interlude:]

You see I know you’re out there somewhere

O yes I know you’re out there somewhere

You see I know I’ll find you somehow

O yes I know I’ll find you somehow

the words that I remember

From my childhood still are true

That there’s none so blind

As those who will not see

And to those who lack the courage

And say it’s dangerous to try

Well they just don’t know

That love eternal will not be denied

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

Yes I know it’s going to happen

I can feel you getting near

And soon we’ll be returning

To the fountain of our youth

And if you wake up wondering

In the darkness I’ll be there

My arms will close around you

And protect you with the truth

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

Thank you Moody Blues and Azlyrics

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Can I do it?

I just discovered NaBloPoMo.  I have participated in NaNoWriMo in the past. National Novel Writing Month occurs each November.  And so even though I had to search to figure out what the Po was for, I knew I had found something to replace NaNoWriMo, at least for now.

National Blog Posting Month

I am challenging myself to post a blog a day for this month.

I wrote two blogs last week and decided the second would post on November 1 and so here it is November 2 and I am excited at the idea of having a post each day this month.  Can I do it?

I must add that I found my way to NaBloPoMo via a Facebook friend’s post about gratitude and her blog: Awaken Your Gratitude.  Several people are posting what they are grateful for this month on Facebook which got me thinking about doing the same.  Then when I found my friend’s blog and the idea of blogging each day this month, I decided to blog on gratitude and possibly include what I am grateful for each day.  I am figuring this out as I type….

Gratitude

I have a journal that I call my “Yea, Gina- Gratitude Journal”.  I have been keeping one for several years now and can honestly say that I enjoy life more when I am actively writing in the journal.  I have known about gratitude journals for a long time but a few years ago, I decided to journal in celebration of the things that have been great about my day.

The idea came from the experience of mentally going through my day in the evening and thinking about what I would do differently from my day.  Although I can be helpful to think about how I might choose differently in the future, focusing on what I need to do different each and every day left me feeling less than.  In understanding the law of attraction, I knew I needed to put more energy thinking about what went well each day rather than what needed improvement.  Thus, my Yea, Gina! Journal was born.

My journal contains a mixture of celebrating my successes, describing positive parts of my day, listing simple things of pleasure and expressions of gratitude in all aspects of my life.  Maybe I will even begin to share some pieces of my journal.  I do not have it with me.  I keep it in my bathroom- the one room in the house where I can be alone (but not always with a toddler)  if only for a few minutes.  It sits inside the cabinet next to the commode with a pen ready for me each time I sit.

I like my bathroom.  I often call it my office.   We redid the entire room just over 3 years ago and it is painted a soft shade of purple with white trim and cabinets and a large walk in shower and bold silver fixtures.  We put the floor tiling in ourselves, my husband laid the tile and I grouted most of it- until we discovered I was pregnant, and then I let him finish grouting.  In a house that is 42 years old, my bathroom feels new and fresh and mine because I choose the colors and components of the room.  Even the ceiling was redone.  My husband removed the popcorn ceiling when we redid the room and so it is the only room in our house with a smooth ceiling.

I am grateful for my bathroom and my Yea, Gina- Gratitude Journal that waits for me every time I enter.