sharing my life experiences, reflections and insights as a mother, a writer, an Occupational Therapist, an unschooler, and and a spiritual being having a human experience

Posts tagged ‘grateful’

Gratitude: Embracing Bipolar Depression

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out

And if you want to be free, be free

‘Cause there’s a million things to be

You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high

And if you want to live low, live low

‘Cause there’s a million ways to go

You know that there are

Cat Stevens sings as I sit here telling myself to write

Ups and downs, highs and lows

Bipolar depression and mood swings

Life challenges

Leaving me wanting to escape it all, at times

Other times ready to jump in and fight, power on…

Emotions

Feelings

Memories

Regrets…

Life for 48 and a half years and counting…

Opportunities come and gone

New endeavors

Staring new jobs, new people, new places, new computer systems…

Old jobs and people I have known a long time

Letting go

Moving on

Writing

Because I have to

Because it is what feeds my soul

Because when I don’t write,

I feel lost

Something is missing

Until I return to my keyboard

And figure out what to say

My life is awesome

Sometimes my life sucks

Circumstances and situations suck

Infuriated by government systems

Lack of organization and logic

Waiting

Mental health services

Sick care

Thinking of those things is a whole ‘ nother blog

Embracing myself and who I am

Embracing where I am

Right now

Right here

In this home

My 5 year home that I have lived in for 17 years…

With all its cracks and crevices and needed repairs

My house is nearly 49 years old, as am I

Built the year I was born

A good year

1969

I was born on Peace Day during the Vietnam war

October 15

I believe I choose to be born on that day

I was born 3 weeks past my mother’s “due date”

They allowed that back then…

Here I am

Now

Journey sings to me

Don’t’ stop believin’

Dreams

Writing

Aspirations

Hope

New endeavors with Don

Speaking

Speaking!

Writing and speaking my truth

My true self is emerging

i sing this song to my true self…

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

The mist is lifting slowly

I can see the way ahead

And I’ve left behind the empty streets

That once inspired my life

And the strength of the emotion

Is like thunder in the air

‘Cos the promise that we made each other

Haunts me to the end

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

The secret of your beauty

And the mystery of your soul

I’ve been searching for in everyone I meet

And the times I’ve been mistaken

It’s impossible to say

And the grass is growing

Underneath our feet

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

[Interlude:]

You see I know you’re out there somewhere

O yes I know you’re out there somewhere

You see I know I’ll find you somehow

O yes I know I’ll find you somehow

the words that I remember

From my childhood still are true

That there’s none so blind

As those who will not see

And to those who lack the courage

And say it’s dangerous to try

Well they just don’t know

That love eternal will not be denied

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

Yes I know it’s going to happen

I can feel you getting near

And soon we’ll be returning

To the fountain of our youth

And if you wake up wondering

In the darkness I’ll be there

My arms will close around you

And protect you with the truth

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere, somewhere

I know you’re out there somewhere

Somewhere you can hear my voice

I know I’ll find you somehow

Somehow, somehow

I know I’ll find you somehow

And somehow I’ll return again to you

Thank you Moody Blues and Azlyrics

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Happy 14th Birthday Harrison!

I am grateful for my son, Harrison,who celebrates his 14th birthday today.

Happy Birthday, Harrison!

I am grateful for the past 14 years with him in my life and the 9 months before he arrived.  I am grateful for the easy pregnancy I had with him.  I am grateful for becoming a mother exactly when I did.

I am grateful for his interests, passions and collections over the years:

balloons

stop signs

all road signs

electricity and electric switch plates

theater: performing in plays

cars

computers

Pokemon

Apple

photography…..

And all his interests yet to come

I am grateful for:

His love of his siblings, being a concerned and cautious big brother

His laugh

Watching him laugh at a funny movie.  I find movies so much funnier when I can watch them with him.

I am grateful for how confident he is and has always been.  He knows who he is and doesn’t worry what other people think.  He is who he is an I love him for it!

He reminds me to be who I am and I am so grateful to him for that.

I am grateful that he did learn to walk at 16 month of age even though we never enrolled him in ‘walking school’ nor bought any walking curriculum. (sure I am an OT but even as a new parent, I knew what was to come and never encouraged walking and enjoyed him crawling)

I am grateful for him leading us to unschooling by following his lead with his interests at a young age.

I am grateful that he did learn to sleep- even though we did not enroll him in the hard knocks school of “teaching your child to sleep” and he learned to talk without a curriculum and he learned to eat without school…..I could go on but I will spare you the lecture undertone and him the embarrassment.

I am grateful that I can say whatever I want on my blog, and no one will cover it in sticky notes with corrections and there won’t be an audit on it and no one will give it a grade or ask me to re-write it.

I am grateful to my son Harrison for his sense of humor and ability to laugh at himself (and at me) and knowing he won’t be offended by my blog.

I am grateful for all the time I have had over the past 14 years to spend with him and for our time connecting and for me being a part of his life and his world and for the amazing teenager that he is now.

I am grateful for Harrison coming into my life and for being my first-born and my son.  I am grateful for the role he plays as an older brother to his younger siblings and his roles as cousin, nephew, grandson…..in all he does, he is always himself.  I am grateful for his authenticity and unique point of view.

I am grateful to Harrison for learning all about Ning and helping me, literally to start my first Ning website which led to the launch of Charlottehomeschooling.com.  I am grateful to all the technical help he has provided me over the years.  And I see this into our future as well…..

I am grateful to my son Harrison for being who he is!  I am grateful that he is able to follow his interests and will love him no matter where life takes him and where he takes life… and will always be proud to call him my son.