sharing my life experiences, reflections and insights as a mother, a writer, an Occupational Therapist, an unschooler, and and a spiritual being having a human experience

Today I  am challenged by my daily posting gratitude challenge.  I missed a post yesterday and at least one other day.

The idea of having a post every single day was a big motivating factor and since I have not quite done that, it takes away some from the moment.  Not that I want to give up, not at all because I am writing blogs far more than I ever have.

So, today, I can be grateful for the is not….

When I have an off day or things don’t go as planned or I am  disappointed for whatever reason, it can be difficult to be grateful and even more difficult to write.   Yet, here I am creating a blog post when I had no idea what I was going to say.

The is not helps us to see the is.

I showed up.  I showed up to write even when I did not know what I was going to say and when I did not really feel like saying anything.  I think it is important to write even when I don’t feel like it.  It can be eye opening to write when I don’t know what I am going to say. Sure, I often find meaning in my writing as I am writing it, yet to feel lost and have no idea and then to write, can bring such clarity.  Or at least it brings honesty.  Here I am.  I just spent time watching the last two Gray’s Anatomy episodes.  I don’t watch much TV these days but somehow I am drawn to that show and enjoy following along in the series and keeping up with the happenings by watching it online.   It is a break for me.  A break from my real life, from motherhood, from being a wife, from homeschooling, from all the drama and happenings of my day-to-day life.

After my husband went in the hospital, I saw how unrealistic the show really is.  Doctors don’t have time for all the personal attention that they are seen giving patients on Gray’s Anatomy not to mention the fact that many modern hospitals are so departmentalized  and there is no way a doctor would be able to be in so many places like they are on the show.  I wasn’t as interested in watching the show for a while.  Yet, here I am watching it again.  I enjoy the personal relationships aspect of the show and yes, the excitement of medical trauma.  I used to work at a physical rehabilitation hospital, not exactly emergency medicine, but the what happens next, after the initial trauma.  It was exciting to see patients come to us in a coma and after months of therapy, leave, often walking.  It was what went on in between that initial evaluation and their discharge from rehab that was exciting.  Helping people wake up and regain function after being in a coma is far more involved and far more exciting than is portrayed in most movies.  It is a long, slow process but rewarding.

It has been over 16 years since I last worked at the rehabilitation hospital.  I moved on  from there to work in nursing homes and later home health care to have a less stressful schedule, more flexibility and I will be honest, better pay.  But I think back to those first 2 1/2 years of my career as an Occupational Therapist and remember the time fondly.   I learned a lot in that time and appreciate that job far more since having worked other places.  I was fresh out of school and much to learn in my field and in life.  I was 23 and single and had just moved 600 miles from home to start my adult life.

Next week marks the 19th anniversary of my moving from Pennsylvania to North Carolina to begin my adult life.

Would I have imagined my life the way it is now back then?

I think I will leave that question for another blog.

Today, I am grateful for the question.


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